Anger Management

Similar to happiness - grief, fear, and anger are also very common human emotions. Anger is a natural human reaction. In our daily life, we can see anger as a signal that appears due to our dissatisfaction of unfavorable events or behavior. In other words, when things don’t go our way.

Anger becomes a problem when it badly affects your behavior, relationships with others and performance.

When you feel angry, you can try different things to manage it:

  • The second you realize that you are angry, start counting backwards from 10 to 1. This will distract you from the source of the anger and will help with the anger itself.
  • Expressing anger in a new and creative way may also help! Try punching the pillow, hitting the ball, spilling the emotions on a piece of paper and tearing and throwing it away afterwards.
  • If stress or workload is the source of the anger, take some time off work.
  • Engaging in physical exercises, sports and meditation will make you feel better.
  • Try to develop the skills to express your feelings in appropriate ways when dealing with other people. Sometimes suppressing the anger might worsen it. Practice identifying the emotions and expressing them through appropriate and helpful ways. For example, if somebody does not perform well or misbehaves, do not look down at them or call them stupid or lazy. Instead, suggest new positive ways for them to behave or tips on how to complete their tasks better. This will help shift focus on the problem, learn and build meaningful relationships at work and at home without anger.
  • You can also change the way you think. For example, when things do not go your way and the feeling “I hate this” hits the mind… Try to think: “This certainly makes me angry, yes, this is not a satisfactory situation, but I am prepared to face it.”

If anger becomes a more serious problem, it starts to significantly affect your daily life, behavior and relationships. When this happens the methods mentioned above might not help.

Then, the following anger management methods can be used. Please have a diary to help practice these methods:

  • Remember! Once anger becomes a serious problem, the more you know about it – the easier it becomes to fight it.
  • First of all, accept that you are angry. Pay attention to your feelings.
  • Write down the date, time and place each time you get angry.
  • Measure the intensity of anger in a scale of 1 to 10. For example 1 is a little bit angry, 2 angrier, 3 is even angrier and so on. Similarly 5 is average anger, 6 is more than the average and 9 and 10 are the intensity of anger that is beyond your control.
  • Whenever you get angry use the diary to write down what happened, the people around you, and other circumstances. Ask yourself: How did I feel? This could include: fast heartbeat, red or hot face, trembling or louder voice. Maybe you also felt mistreated, neglected or guilty for being angry.
  • After maintaining the diary for 3-4 days to find out the source of anger, identify the causes. It could be a person, an unresolved problem, or circumstances.
  • Once the source of anger is known, brainstorm to find the alternatives to resolve the problem. Outline the pros and cons of each alternative, chose the best one and put it into practice for problem solving. The process can be repeated until we solve the problem.
  • However, if the problem persists and continues to affect the behavior and relationships, please seek professional help from a psychosocial counselor, a psychologist or a psychiatrist.

For more information please contact TPO Nepal.